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Happy Tuesday, everybody! Oh, we got a great show tonight. Nikki Haley is here with us. You know, she has a new book. The title is, “If You Want Something Done, Ask A Woman.” Ain’t that the truth? Especially when it comes to vacuuming my office, am I right?
GRAPHIC: A sexist would say!
That’s terrible. Very bad. But in all fairness, a woman did write that joke. Which is proof if you want something done, you got to ask a woman. And she wrote it probably while watching one of her stupid soap operas.
GRAPHIC: Wow, What another sexist would say.
I’ll stop Nikki. That just pumped it up a few on Amazon. All right. So have you seen any good movies lately? And I don’t mean the one that went viral of Kilmeade and that alpaca. But if you said no, well that’s your fault. You’re probably racist, sexist or even a homophobe. That’s how actor Billy Eichner angrily explained the pathetic box office debut of his gay comedy “Bros.” True, I get more viewers when I leave the bathroom door open. Although it made gay cinema history, replacing broke back mountain with broke at the box office, it was so sparsely attended, no one got monkeypox.
GRAPHIC: A homophobe would say.
Terrible joke. Apparently, it made $4 million over the weekend. That’s what Larry Kudlow left the waitress at the Cheesecake Factory a few weeks ago. Here are other movies that made more than $4 million.
GRAPHIC: Me & My Toe Fungus
GRAPHIC: The Life and Times of Michael Moore’s Lower Intestine (Volume Five)
It’s on Netflix. You should check out. And finally…
GRAPHIC: The Good, The Bad and Joy Behar
I think we have a clip of our favorite scene.
A cow flies around in a tornado
I’m never going to stop. Eichner’s excuse for the movie’s poor performance is that straight people didn’t want to see his gay movie. And in the real world, that means no people wanted to see his gay movie. Why? Because he craps on so many people every day, he really should be only making German porn. If you get that joke, you’re disgusting. True, if you don’t embrace his narrow political view, you are evil which makes up about three quarters of the planet’s population. This is the guy who is mad you didn’t see his movie.
BILLY EICHNER: If there are any Republican women out there, so many of your husbands are pretending to be straight right now. But my focus is not on Trump voters. There’s no way in the next 48 hours I’m going to miraculously get someone who’s racist to, you know, be not racist. I am sick of Donald Trump. I am sick of everyone that associates with him.
I don’t see the appeal. But, frankly, he really is as about as offensive as a kitten playing with a ball of yarn. There’s no risk there, but there are some lessons here, Billy. One, if you promote a film that’s identity specific, you’re going to exclude as much you pretend to include. You’re telling the audience that this is for others, but maybe not you.
It’s true whether you do a gay flick or a documentary on switchblades. After you spend years demeaning instead of growing audiences, you blame everyone but yourself when no one shows up. That’s the long-term effects of identity politics on your personality. Nothing is ever your fault. You are a perennial victim. It’s actually the only thing that identity politics actually creates. It’s not audiences, it’s victims. But also Billy got tricked by Hollywood’s phony virtue signaling to actually think that his audience would be larger than it is. So it’s no wonder the theaters were emptier than a room where they’re trying to surprise Kamala on her birthday.
So at least on Twitter where he blames lack of ticket sales on homophobia and straight people and certain parts of the country. But that’s even more B.S. Because the real no shows are his people because he already drove away everyone else. It isn’t Trump supporters who let Billy down, it was his supporters. Which is a good thing for Billy.
As people like Billy on the left always stress, diversity is so important and your movie was rejected by a very diverse crowd. People of all stripes said screw that noise. Talk about unity, this country came together and say they’d rather get dental work than see Eichner’s movie. But that’s probably on art based on identity. Even people who identify with you might even resist it. If Hollywood keeps making movies that alienate the public, that’s on them. You have to be a real lunatic to be surprised by that.
SKIT: Look, I know you’re upset that your movie isn’t doing very well. But as your agents, I think we need to reassess your brand.
>> This is all white people’s fault. How come they didn’t go see my movie?
>> Well, you are a white person. Also, black people didn’t see it either. I don’t think it helped things that you called the film white people really suck. That’s like 70% of the country right there.
>> I didn’t make it for them.
>> No, but it didn’t help things that right before the premier you tweeted “the following people should not see my movie, whites, Christians, men, women, blue collar workers, gun owners, Republicans, Libertarians, Rotarians, straight people, weightlifters, meat eaters and dudes named Kevin.
>> Representation matters.
>> It certainly does. And that’s why we can no longer represent you. Good luck with everything.
>> You’re just saying that ’cause you’re white, Kevin.
So Hollywood lost the plot once they made identity a priority over entertainment. That got Billy the movie gig, but it didn’t give the audience much more. Instead, you’re left with films that have strong political, social and cultural messages but aren’t entertaining. It sounds a lot like my definition of propaganda. Billy, if you want people to come see your movies, don’t call them losers. Why not get to know the greater audience instead of browbeating them. But remember this is the guy that said “f Trump, f his whole family, f anyone that chose to work with them and f every single Trump voter. And guess what? I’m still with her, you misogynist American dummies.”
I guess, Billy, you found out the feeling is mutual.